Mixed Emotions

As some of you know I have been trying for awhile to reach my goal (250 lbs). My hope was for it to have happened last month, but no such luck. I was more determined then ever to reach my goal this month. I even had a secret super goal to reach 238 lbs (a loss of 16 lbs in one month). The super goal was created because it is my 70 lb marker and I have an old childhood friend coming to town and I wanted to surprise her with my weight loss since she doesn’t know I have had surgery. My friends at work told me that I was crazy to even have the super goal, but I guess we are all a little crazy in our own way.

I was doing really well with my meals and walking (6 miles every other day), until I hurt my knee. I did as the doctor ordered and stayed off it a little, but then started walking again, but only 5 miles this time. I am having pains in both knees and try to give myself more time off between my walks.

As for my gain during my off week, it happens and I have to accept it. I should learn not to get frustrated with situations I cannot change, which causes me to eat. I need to learn how to stay on schedule and just subtract the walking. This is something I need to work on in the future.

Anyways, I went to the doctor yesterday and I wasn’t sure what to expect given my previous week. I was really nervous, but willing to except whatever came my way. I honestly thought I would be okay, but ya never know. I stepped on the scale and I had mixed emotions. I was happy and frustrated at the same time. Why, well, because I was just 2 lbs shy of meeting my “super goal”!! That’s right, if I had controlled myself the week before I would have reached the super goal and loss 16 lbs, but to be honest I was so damn happy to have finally reach my 250 lb goal. I have lost 68 lbs so far and it just seems so surreal to me. I am still at a loss.

As for my doctor, he was very pleased with me. However, he prefers for me to only loss 6 to 8 lbs a month and that is the goal for next month. I guess we will see what happens given my knee issues. I’ll keep ya posted on my progress.

~Think Positive and Stay Healthy~