Strange New Feelings

Have you got your shopping done yet?? I have finally finished my shopping. The good thing about shopping is you get to do a lot of walking. All of the walking, while it seems like a pain, is good for weight losing weight. I try to park far away from the store to give myself more distance to walk. I also like to park in a central location and walk to several stores from one location. I guess it is one way of getting exercise.

The other good thing about this time of year is the amount of people out and about shopping. This is the one time of year you will see such a diverse group of people all in one store. I was even amused by the number of guys standing in lines at Bed, Bath and Beyond, etc. It is nice to see all the diversity.

I have been experiencing a new feeling lately. While shopping, I noticed on numerous occasions people were looking at me. It is different for me because I am use to being the fat kid and people only looking at me with disgust in their eyes. I find it awkward to have women and men stare at me and then smile. I know this is suppose to be a good feeling, but I am so not used to it. I know it sounds crazy, but you probably have to be in my shoes to understand it. It is like being the poor kid who wins the lottery and everyone suddenly likes me.

As for my weight, I think I have finally plateaued. I know most people get upset when this happens, but I am just so thrilled at the amount of weight I have lost so far. It has only been a couple of months and I feel like a new person. I know when I start working out and get another fill that my weight will start going down again. Until then, I am happy and look forward to the future.

I am really glad that I have lost so much weight, but I feel as though I don’t know myself. I used to spend so much time worrying about what other people thought that I didn’t live my own life. Since the weight is disappearing, I find myself happier then I have ever been in my life. I have a very positive attitude about everything. I want to be happy and enjoy this new found happiness. I will admit at times I feel lost because I am not used to being happy and doing fun things. I spent so much time hiding that I am not sure what to do now that I am coming out to enjoy life. Also, with the weight gone, I have more energy and feel really bored. I am hoping the exercising will help this issue. Time will tell, I will keep ya posted!

To Tell or Not To Tell…

When I first decided to have this surgery, it was because I wanted it for me and to help eliminate some health issues I had and would be facing in the future. I did not feel I had to share this information with everyone. This is something you need to think about because you do lose it slowly, but it is noticeable and some people are just damn nosey about everything. There are already too many assholes, oops I mean opinions, in this world now.

So what did I do…well, I decided to tell a few friends I trusted because I needed a support group. My family also knew since they have helped me throughout the process. I think I made a good choice, but it still has it pros and cons…

So, I told a few people, they are all happy for me, but some of them are over protective. They watch what I eat more then I do and it can be a pain sometimes. One even saw me eating a piece of candy and asked me, how I could start messing up after spending all that money. I politely informed the person I knew what was going in MY mouth and I was okay. My doctor was happy with me and my decisions to this point and I will continue on this path. Of course then some of them start whining I am losing too much weight and they are gaining weight. I am not sure if they are trying to make me feel bad or not, but that does not work on me.

As for those I didn’t tell, well some just give me compliments and others ignore it. It is a mixed bag. The compliments as nice, but I am modest, so I try to ignore them. The one thing I have a problem blowing off is when the women start to rub on me and grope me. It is interesting, but makes me feel a little awkward. Then there is another group of people that think I am starving myself or worry I am getting sick or I caught something that is making me sick. I have had several question what I am eating and how often, to the point some offered to give me money so I could buy some food. I have even had a few drop some breakfast bars and such off on my desk. I have also noticed because I am losing weight and looking nice that some people are a lot nicer to me and those that did not talk to me, do now. Please do not fall for these shallow people that judge you on your image because they are not worth it. Be happy with you and those that like you no matter what.

In closing, I wish you the best in your decision. Just remember…everyone is a little strange sometimes.

WOW…where does the time go…

I cannot believe it has been this long since I have written a blog. SHAME ON ME!! I will try to do better in the future. I went to the doctor in November and I lost another 5 lbs, which puts me at 40 lbs lost so far. He told me that because I am doing so well that I did not need another fill. He was happy with a 5 lbs loss and told me as long as I continue to lose between 5 to 8 lbs a month I would be fine. I was glad I did not get another fill. Why? Well, because it gives me time to lose the weight slowly and leaves more room in my band to add fill later when my weight lose slows down. He did tell me I need to do more exercise!

I am not a big fan of exercise. I have done my fair share and hated it. I actually do not hate exercising; I just hate trying to find time to do it. However, if you plan on having this surgery, then you better damn well plan on working out. IT IS A MUST…so yes, I will be doing it soon. I plan to start after the holidays, yeah, yeah…you hear that all the time, but I am different. The last time I worked out I lost 40 lbs on my own, so I am curious to see what will happen now!!

SCALE ATTACK…or rather lack of it. Like everyone else, I get a lot of use out of my scale. However, for some weird reason, I just could not force myself to weigh in for almost three weeks. It was the weirdest thing, but I avoided the scale like crazy. It was not because I was gaining weight because my clothes were getting looser. I still don’t know, but after talking some other bandsters, it is a phase you might go through during your weight loss on lap-band.

Well, I was supposed to go back to the doctor next week, but I decided to push it off for another month because I am keeping on course. I am down another 5 lbs, which makes it a total of 45 lbs lost, but I will not update my on-line scale until I get weighed by my doctor. I am a little sad because I don’t think I will meet my Christmas goal of losing 50 lbs, but it is okay.

I am going to end this blog here because I don’t want them to get too long. I have another in mind that you will need to read because it involves how people around you will react to your weight loss…